We are Mirrors in Our Relationships

Mirror, mirror, on the wall; who is the fairest of them all? The old fairy tale of Snow White had a great scene. The wicked queen asked the mirror her question and didn’t like the answer she received. The queen’s ugly behavior grew out of her ugly thoughts. Our relationships often serve as a mirror for us as well. If we don’t like what we see in our relationships, we need to check the mirror of our thoughts for some answers.

Question: Can I understand how I am a “mirror” in my relationships?

If we knew we had it in our power to feel good, to feel fulfilled, to be happy and stress free, we wouldn’t ask others to change to make us happy. And we wouldn’t need to control others to make ourselves feel better. We all wish for great relationships. We all want to be loved and accepted for who we truly are.

The great comedian Flip Wilson used to say, “What you see is what you get!” What we put our attention on is what we get in our relationships.

If we look at the flaws in others, we may find that we are more often criticized. If we complain about and blame others, we may notice that others also are blaming us. In our relationships, we all serve as mirrors for one another. If we are seeing flaws, shortcomings, and problems when we look at those around us, we are seeing a reflection of our own thoughts and attitudes.

When we shift our thinking and see through our natural brilliance, through the eyes of love, we will find that new view reflected in those around us. This is the process for creating the relationships we really want. When we focus on what is working, what we love, what we admire and respect in others, that is what we’ll find in the relationships we create.

Here are a couple of experiments to help you recognize the best in others and to create great relationships.

Experiment #1: Identify one or two things you really appreciate in someone you love, and tell that person how you feel.

Experiment #2: Acknowledge someone in your life who you rarely celebrate or recognize.