Thoughts | Back To Brilliance Personal Growth

A Mindset for the Holidays

Written by Vivian on December 1, 2009 – 8:00 am -

Everywhere we look these days we see evidence that mindset is very important. Athletes have known for many years the value of staying in the flow – a mental state. People trying to kick a habit like smoking know that taking your attention off cigarettes, shifting your mindset, is huge. Oprah has featured many writers over the years who have stressed the value of mindset. Her project with Eckhart Tolle stresses expanding one’s consciousness, which is moving from old beliefs and patterns of thinking to a broader mindset that encompasses much more. Mindset is mainstream.

Perhaps it’s time for a new mindset for the holidays. Some of the major holidays of the year celebrated by different religions have already passed. Thanksgiving is over as well. But no matter where we go we are surrounded by the trappings of Christmas, with Kwanza and Chanukah coming up for those who celebrate these days. Gifts, decorations, food, and more can frazzle us while they dazzle us. It could be time to start some new traditions.

The real trick is knowing that our mindset is just a set of thoughts and beliefs inside of us, and we can change these if we choose. What is it we really want to accomplish in this holiday season? What is the true gift in our gift-giving? It seems that one reason we give gifts is to show appreciation to another person. When gifts are expected, and few thanks given, we wonder if appreciation is really the issue. What message do you want your gifts to say this holiday season?

Tags: beliefs, Brilliance, holidays, mindset, thoughts
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Stress Relief for Anger in Relationships

Written by Lynne & Vivian on November 17, 2009 – 8:00 am -

Anger is a feeling all of us have experienced. We usually blame others for “making us angry” when, in fact, the real culprit for anger is the thoughts we have inside our own heads. Yes, the behaviors that others have, the accidents that occur, the “stupid” decisions, and on and on, do have the ability get a reaction from us. But, the reaction will come forth from us? Also, we determine its frequency and intensity.

Ask yourself this question: Can I let go of anger in my relationships? Because anger is such a common stressor in relationship problems, we need to give it some attention. To truly master our relationships, we need to master our feelings of anger. Anger is easily triggered because of our family conditioning and because it appears to be the “best” expression that shows how we are feeling at the time.

Our feeling vocabulary may be limited. We may be afraid, and cover it with anger. We may be frustrated to the max and let anger take over our words. We might simply feel defeated by a voicemail system when we have tried to get an important message through to a service representative. No matter when or where our anger takes the stage, we damage relationships with unrestrained anger.

Our frustration, irritation, and distress frequently build into anger because we don’t let these feelings out until we feel safe. Too often we let anger run riot with the people closest to us, or with those with whom we can “get away with it”. Because our anger response often is harsh, explosive, and quickly gets out of control, it is imperative that we recognize its source.

Tags: anger, Brilliance, Relationships, Stress Relief, thoughts
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Stress Relief for a Good Night’s Sleep

Written by Vivian on October 13, 2009 – 1:02 pm -

In today’s world, there are a million things that could keep you from sleeping soundly. Perhaps you’ve been hearing about the latest pesticide that causes cancer. Maybe you have heard that the lettuce from Argentina or some other country is contaminated. Or, you could be thinking about someone in your family and what can be done to change or set things right again.

All of these thoughts can go whirling around your head, time and again, night after night, with new reports replacing the old ones. Bedtime musing may be helpful once in a while, but when it persists and you don’t get a good amount of that deep sleep, life generally becomes more difficult. You may wonder how you can go back to sleeping well.

Tags: sleep, Stress Relief, thoughts, worry
Posted in Stress Relief, Thinking | Comments

Are You Caught in Trauma or Drama?

Written by Lynne & Vivian on August 28, 2009 – 9:08 am -

Yesterday Lynne was talking with a very good friend of ours who commented that she still finds herself paying too much attention to what other people say or think about her. This is something that we frequently continue to deal with in our lives.

First of all when anyone gets caught up in what they think someone else thinks about them, there is a gut clenching or very uncomfortable feeling that may range from sadness or despair to anger. Some people go to the anger first. When this happens to us it is our first indication that something is out of kilter.

We have come to understand that our feelings are messengers. Negative feelings tell us that our thoughts about whatever is going on are negative. In other words, we are making up something negative about another person, believing it, and perhaps acting on it. Whenever we experience trauma and drama in our families or jobs, it is because we have made our thoughts into facts.

We have learned to fact check from our natural Brilliance. Then we don’t have to personalize what other people are saying or thinking about us. This is a huge stress eliminator. This makes stress relief easy for us.