Healing Your Mindset

One of our students shared with us that she struggles with her money mindset. She is a self-employed massage therapist and yoga instructor. Sometimes she’ll schedule a class and nobody will show up. Having enough clients to meet her expenses and having surplus income is a challenge. She’d taken our Master Your Mindset program and wanted to know if we’d expanded our insights or skills related to money since we’d developed the program.

Some of the thoughts she gets caught up in are: how she’ll come up with the money she needs when her classes don’t fill, or why her classes didn’t fill, or how she can stop worrying about money.

In our mindset program we discuss how important it is to stay connected with our natural Brilliance. It is our mindset that comes from our old patterns of thinking that gets in the way of recognizing our brilliance and living from this wisdom. Steering clear of these limiting thoughts allows us to experience our Brilliance thinking. It’s like we get out from under a cloud and the sun shines.

In the last year we’ve learned an exercise that clears our negative patterns of thinking more quickly and thoroughly than anything else we’ve tried. The exercise comes from the book Zero Limits, written by Joe Vitale and Ihaleakala Hew Len, PhD. “Ho’oponopono” is an ancient Hawaiian healing process.

There are five steps:

1.    I accept responsibility for creating this experience or situation that I want to clear. This come from understanding that we are all constantly creating our reality from our thinking and that it is our thoughts that have created this problem.

2.    I am sorry for this situation.

3.    Please forgive me. Here we ask for forgiveness from all those whom we’ve harmed; we forgive all those who have harmed us; and we forgive ourselves for all harm given and received (real or imagined).

4.    I love you. We ask Universal Source to transmute all of our old beliefs, thought patterns, and habits of thinking into Universal Love unlimited. It is Love that heals us and thereby heals the world.

5.    Thank you.

When we get caught up in worrying about where our money is going to come from, how we are going to fill our classes, or what we need to do to make more money, we have succumbed to our old habits of thinking. We are worrying about not having enough and are afraid that we won’t get enough. These thoughts have created our reality. Our collective thought system perpetuates this “reality” in the world we live in. When we use the “Ho’oponopono” process our old beliefs and thought systems are cleared from ourselves and the world around us and are replaced with Universal Love. In this way we heal ourselves and our world by healing our mindset.

Back to Brilliance, ©2008

Healing Relationships

When relationships disintegrate, it is because we have made assumptions, made judgments, and let our hurt and anger take over our communication. We become so attached to “our side of the story” that we can’t see our way clear to even listening calmly to others. Understanding how our thinking is behind those judgments that separate us from others is the first step to healing our relationships. Then we can use our feelings, which came from our thinking, to guide us in a new direction. We can shift and connect with our brilliant thoughts to renew our listening and respond from our hearts.

Many of us have a habit of judging others in our relationships. How do we deal with this most common habit and barrier to healthy relationships? First, we need to understand and remember that judgments are just thoughts we have focused on and made real. We judge according to our expectations, losing sight of the fact that we all have separate realities and don’t see things the same. In low moods, whatever we see seems to be at its worst.

When we get caught up in judging someone else, we tend to lose sight of the whole person and see only the problem we have identified as theirs. We judge others for the “big” stuff, from not taking out the trash to misplacing the newspaper to being a loudmouth shrew. In our minds they could do better or be better.

Often we’re even harsher on ourselves with our judgments than we are on others. When we haven’t lived up to our own standards we become the object of our scorn. We think we can’t do anything right, haven’t learned yet, are stupid and shortsighted. When others are judging us, it’s fairly easy to ignore or discount those we don’t know well or care about; however, judgments from those we know and love can cut deep and be long remembered.

Have you ever had a positive result come from making a negative judgment about another or about yourself? All the judgments we’ve identified here are negatives that are classified and held for a long time. This long shelf life of judgments cheats the one making the judgment from really knowing another and prevents the one judged from being known.

Judgments drain our energy. They come from our computer patterns of thinking. When we engage in them, our negative feelings should be our first clue to pay attention and redirect our attention and our energy. Although judgments about nuclear warfare might seem worthy of the negative energy spent, judgments about hairstyles and lifestyles contribute little or nothing. Underneath these judgments we find a lack of respect for ourselves and everyone else.

When we have agreements or shared expectations with others and they aren’t working, we can always renegotiate without judgment in a respectful way. Any time spent in making judgments or being concerned about the judgments others have made is wasted. Imagine what we could be doing from our natural Brilliance instead. Judgments are always negative; instead, we can admire, compliment, and acknowledge the positive traits of others seen from our Brilliance through the eyes of respect. Yes! we can see the best and forget the rest.

Apology to Shirley Sharrod

All for One and One for All

Imagine finding yourself in the situation Shirley Sharrod has experienced in the last few days. A highly edited video portrayal left her reputation in tatters. Then insufficient investigation and blatant assumptions resulted in her losing her job. In the mix it appears that distorted mindsets put this in motion to meet personal agendas.

• It seems that the blogger who cooked the video was deliberately intending to undermine the NAACP and the current administration and claim some fame at the expense of Ms. Sherrod.
• Fox News then grabbed the video and used it to attack both her and the administration.
• It seems that her employer also jumped to conclusions in a context of fear over past racial discrimination in his department and fired Ms. Sherrod.

This story appears to be the norm rather than the exception. We are living in a world of distorted beliefs and thoughts that are contributing to fear, conflict, and destruction on a personal and global level.

Here are some other examples:

• There was the BP employee who reported problems with the Gulf oil well which were ignored by his supervisor resulting in a disaster of untold proportions.
• For the past month there has been a supreme effort in Congress to block the passage of an extension of unemployment benefits for millions who have been out of work for months, even years, as a result of our economic crisis. These workers were portrayed by some members of Congress as lazy and unwilling to get a job.
• Then the latest discussions on the news of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan indicate that we will need to be there for many more years.

Are we living in an insane world? Perhaps we are, and it’s our thinking that is creating the chaos around us.

• Our conditioned beliefs, our thoughts, that it is our right to put our agendas above the good of the whole lead to permission to deliberately distort the truth and cause harm to others.
• Our beliefs that safety is less important than bottom line profits opens the door to negligence and resulting catastrophe.
• Our greedy thoughts that we can have everything our way regardless of the needs of others, leads to extreme imbalance in personal, national and international relationships.

When is this going to stop? If you have ever felt alone, victimized, cheated, wounded, or hopeless, you have experienced the insanity resulting from dysfunctional habits of thinking. Each of us has the power to stop this insanity.

• When we clear our distorted habits of thinking and focus on thoughts that bring us peace, joy, and harmony we will create the new world.
• When we take the time to tune into other perspectives, to see the value and strengths in everyone, we will increase the quality of our lives.

So, Shirley, we apologize. We admire your dignity and honesty. And, we will work to build a consciousness of Brilliance in our communities so that all can benefit and live together harmoniously.

Back to Brilliance ©2010

Has Thinking About Taxes Stressed You Out?

We have again reached the tax deadline date of April 15. Guess what!  “Taxes” are just a thought, unless of course, you have to write a check to mail before midnight.

We’re here to tell you that thoughts are really just thoughts. The thoughts we choose to pay attention to become energized and real in our lives.  Why think “taxes” when you could be thinking “tax return”?

If you want to re-tune your thinking a little, read our tips on thinking listed below. They will help you re-focus on the reality you truly want to create.

1. Become Aware if the thoughts you think.
2. Choose the thoughts you pay attention to.
3. Realize that thoughts come before feelings.
4. Remind yourself that thoughts are just thoughts.
5. Use your brilliance to open the door to possibility.
6. Eliminate thought attacks.
7. Ask yourself, “What Was I thinking?”
8. Connect with your Brilliance, your self-esteem.
9. Recognize that thoughts become things.
10. Create the life you really want.

How Brilliance Stops Stress

When we experience the feelings of stress, we can slow down and shift to the wealth of Brilliance that our mind can access. Brilliant thoughts attract more of the same and our view of the world changes in a minute. In the case of a lost sale that occurs, our first thought is likely to be the same:

• “I was counting on that sale and it just fell through; I can’t believe it!”
• In our brilliant mind, our next thought might be “I think I’ll call and get the details of why this happened.”
• A few minutes later after that call you might think, “There is a real problem in production and layoffs ahead.”

A nano-second later other inspired thoughts might occur:

• “Who is their competition – I’ll get on the phone with them”, or “My brother-in-law specializes in business consultation and I’ll let him know that he might be able to help them.” 
• Not long after that, you are relaxed and refocused: “My next sale is coming soon. I have five good prospects I can move ahead with.”

Each thought we have attracts more of the same; it’s like you are putting your order out to the Universe and it sends back more of what you have put attention on. If you shift your thinking and start focusing on what it is that you truly want, then you will begin to experience more of that in your life. We know it sounds simplistic, but when you work with this, you will find the truth hidden within it.  By letting go of those thought attacks we gain the time and energy to move in the direction we really want to go.

Our thoughts are the foundation for how we experience our lives. Once we know how thoughts create our lives, it is easier to understand how thoughts create our stress. If given full control, our computer mind will keep repeating the past and projecting into the future. This pattern does not assist us to manage today’s demands and pressures with confidence and ease.

It is essential that we learn to access our core of Brilliance, through our transmitter mind, so that we can find new answers, build supportive and loving relationships, and let go of the past beliefs and patterns that limit or suppress our real and authentic capacities. Isn’t it true that we all want happiness, satisfaction, and a sense of being fully alive in a world where all are held in respect? It is equally as true that our thoughts will either create stressful lives or create stress-free lives in which we are able to contribute our best to the tasks, desires and dreams we hold dear.

Excerpt from Stop Stress Guide, Back to Brilliance © 2009

Natural Brilliance: Doorway to the Answers You Seek

All of us who have looked closely into our lives have wondered if there is more to life than we see around us, more answers than questions.  Once we get a thought caught in our minds, it cycles and recycles. Our recurring thoughts often create doubt, worry, and concern.  We never really get the answer and stop the cycling until we realize we have two kinds of thinking, one for the known’s in life and the other for the unknown’s that come our way.

One kind of thinking originates in our computer mind. This is where all of our thoughts, experiences, and training are stored.  It’s like a real computer file. Everything we experience today will go into that file to be stored, available for use in the future.

The other kind of thinking comes from the transmitter mind, or Brilliance mind.  This mind has access to the whole universe, to what we call Universal Brilliance. Once we have that connection, we can quiet down, listen, and ask for what we need.  At that point we discover a bigger viewpoint.

It’s similar to an aerial view over congested traffic. When you’re in slowing or stopped traffic you can’t imagine what is going on. You might tune in to the radio and hear about what is happening from a helicopter above that can see the whole picture.  This is the kind of connection we need to make sense out of our lives.Every day we are working, relating to family, friends and co-workers, and always trying to figure out who we are and what is important.  We usually know what we love to do to relax but aren’t always aware of how we can contribute or what our special gift is in this life.  Making that Brilliance Connection helps us get a bigger picture.

We understand Brilliance to be the conscious, intelligent, creative energy that is within us and within all life. Brilliance has the answers to our questions that our past history from the computer mind cannot discern.  What we learned in the pat or from the school of hard knocks is not always sufficient to answer the questions about our purpose and direction. With new challenges and conditions, the files from our past are seldom enough.

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A New Life is Waiting

When Lynne was writing her doctoral dissertation, she interviewed a social worker who told her this story.  The social worker was doing a special weekly project at a local juvenile corrections facility. She was sharing the foundational principles we have incorporated into our Brilliance Formula with a group of their residents.

One of the boys was from a really rough public housing area on the south side of Chicago. He was telling his story in a matter-of-fact way. He talked about being 10 years old and coming home one day to discover his Mom and all of his brothers and sisters gone. The apartment was empty.  He’d never seen them since that day. He explained his understanding of what had happened when he said, “But, you know, I was a bad kid, and I was always out running with my friends. I didn’t go to school.”  He wasn’t sad or blaming anyone; this was just the way he saw it.

Another boy in the group, looked at him and said, “Robbie, your Momma didn’t leave you ‘cause you was no bad kid. Your Momma left you ‘cause she just didn’t know how to be no good Momma.” The social worker commented that it took her breath away.  Robbie, who was generally a big talker, was just stunned and couldn’t think of anything to say. It had never occurred to him that he was left behind because his Mother didn’t know better. Instead he had been seeing himself as a bad kid and had been living that out. He had not been to school since he was ten.

He started going to classes at the corrections facility and now he runs a service station. He has a wife and a little boy, and he hasn’t been in trouble since that group with the social worker several years ago.  His new life started the moment his friend told him that his family’s leaving him was not his fault.

What old thoughts and messages are you living from?  Who are you seeing yourself being in life? You may not be seeing a bad kid, but if you didn’t do well in school, you may see yourself as someone who always has trouble learning. If you come from a family with limited income, you may see yourself as always having limited financial resources.  If you are an oversized individual, you may be seeing yourself as fat and ugly and not measuring up to society’s dictates about how a body should look.  These patterns of thinking make us feel less-than, unworthy, broken, and heart-sick. We could go on and on with the mistaken beliefs that we are constructing our lives from.

It’s time to create our lives from who we really are. That means getting in touch with that innate wisdom that links us to all life. In our Back to Brilliance programs, we call this natural Brilliance.  It is the foundation of the human package that each of us has.  Our Brilliance gives us an instant connection to the infinite wisdom of the Universe. In any moment, we can choose to access our best and highest thoughts.  When you are upset, sad, or disappointed, your feelings are telling you that you are activating your old social records and programming. When you become aware of this you have already tapped your Brilliance and can see your situation from the truth of who you are. Choosing to focus on your Brilliant thoughts puts you back on course for the life you were meant to live.

What will your life look like when you aren’t focusing on these limited beliefs? What are your biggest dreams? What ideas light you up? It’s your choice. You can stick with your “old stuff” that is making you miserable, or you can open your life to your Brilliant possibilities. Take the challenge to make a new reality.

Brilliance A Gift From Life

Learning that we all have a core of brilliance was the greatest discovery of our lives. It is our connection to the Universe, to the Source of all that is. Learning that we have direct access to this brilliance at all times was a part of that great discovery. Being able to tap our brilliance for direction, guidance, and understanding is truly a gift from Life. It is our safety net.

This week we decided to share some of our favorite quotes about brilliance. You will notice that several of these quotes come from our book, Activate Your Brilliance: 12 Keys to the Art of Living Happy.

“Happiness is really inside of us, always there as a part of our brilliance.” – Activate Your Brilliance.

“Thinking requires effort, however small.  Happiness requires no effort at all.  In fact, it’s more of a letting go of unhappiness than it is a striving for happiness.” – Richard Carlson, You Can Be Happy No Matter What.

“When we understand that we can live from our brilliance, the pressures, expectations, and limitations of the external world lose their power.” – Activate Your Brilliance.

“Happiness allows you to see information in new and creative ways, and allows you to make rational, productive decisions in a timely manner; it allows you to enjoy, rather than struggle with the ebbs and flows of life, and it encourages your wisdom and common sense to surface.” – Richard Carlson,    You Can Be Happy No Matter What.

“We all have the power to choose. In a world where we seem to have so little control, we often forget that we have choices.” -  Activate Your Brilliance.

“Pretty much, in all battles of the heart over the mind, go with your heart. Because, truly, it’s a lot easier for your mind to catch up with your heart, than for your heart to catch up with your mind. A whole lot. – Michael Dooley, TUT… A Note from the Universe.

“A Key to happiness is listening to your inner wisdom until understanding sneaks past your thought system.” – Jane Nelsen, Understandiing.

“The more we are able to live from the inside out, the more beauty, joy, and fulfillment we experience.” – Activate Your Brilliance.

“Life is magical. When we become masters of brilliance we experience that magic much more often.” – Activate Your Brilliance.

Negative Judgments Kill Relationships

Ever have those gnarly, negative judgments about others shooting through your mind? Join the human race! When these judgments start to take up more of your time or focus on someone you thought you really loved, it’s time to choose. Do you want to continue judging, or do you want to return to loving and respecting?

Ask yourself this question: Can I let go of judging others in my relationships?

Most of us have a habit of judging others in our relationships. How do we deal with this most common habit and barrier to healthy relationships? First, we need to understand and remember that judgments are just thoughts we have focused on and made real. We judge according to our expectations, losing sight of the fact that we all have separate realities and don’t see things the same.

When we get caught up in judging someone else, we tend to lose sight of the whole person and see only the problem we have identified as theirs. We judge others for the “big” stuff, from not taking out the trash to misplacing the newspaper to being a loudmouth. In our minds they could do better or be better.

We have experienced making judgments, and hundreds of assumptions, because we didn’t take the time to ask questions about what was happening or why someone said something. We all fall prey to the habit of judging others because of how they appear, talk, or where they work or worship.

But in our families, close friendships, or partnerships, we owe those we love or hold dear a better outcome than a fast judgment and the resulting disapproval, cold shoulder, or sermon from the mount. And, why are we on the “mount” anyway? What makes us more qualified to know how others should think, live, or act than they? It’s pretty funny when you think about it. We spend more of our creative energy judging others for being who they are than working on what we can control – our own goals, skills and talents.

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The Real Solution to Stress and Lack of Sleep

Sleeping well? Or, is the stress in your life waking you up, continuing to plague those wee hours of the morning? Imagine life 100 years ago. Yes, there were difficult times and life was not as easy as it is today with the conveniences of indoor plumbing and super-kitchens. But, life was not as hectic or rushed for most people.  Quite simply, there just weren’t as many things to think about.

Today we can watch the late news and the 24-hour news channels, or a late-night tear ‘em up movie. Some of us get connected to family and friends with late-night phone calls and can’t get to sleep because our minds are processing the conversations again. It’s hard to assess the real risk these news or life events we focus on 24/7 pose in our lives. But the side effects from lack of sleep are well-documented.

So, what is the real solution?

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